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- on this episode i talk scheduled tweets, family businesses, and how to make people go above their best. welcome back, vaynernation. - [voiceover] gary vee! (audience cheering) - you ask questions; and i answer them. (electronic music) this is the #askgaryvee show.

hey, everybody, this is gary vay-ner-chuk, and this is episode 59of the #askgaryvee show! it's good to be back! it is good to be back,everyone, happy new year. happy new year, vaynernation. oh, can give you me avaynernation wristband? can you go find one? they're out there out right? thanks, alex.

really excited to be back. i feel fresh. i spent a tonof time with the family. i worked a lot more than i wanted to, mainly because i caughtthe wine library-bug. i think it's pretty much impossible, if you follow me at all, to not realize that's what happened overthe last three weeks. so, that's exciting, a littlebit of back-to-the-future, back-to-my-roots; flirting in that world.

which reminds me, i want all of your 2015 wine-buying vaynernationwristbands, by the way. i want all of your 2015 wine-buying. i would like you to stopbuying wine from anybody else besides me, vaynernation. please email how we can do that. gary@vaynermedia.com. i don't know what we'll link here. will anything link?- [drock] nothing.

- nothing will link? fine, can you flash the living crap out of my email here? drock, thank you! hope everybody had a wonderful holiday. it was great to spend timewith the kids and family. i'm glad football's over, i'mreally glad football's over. i know some people are like,"wait", in the comments will be like, "football's not over."

it's over for me; i'm notwatchin' any of this crap. by the way, weird fun fact. i actually want the patriotsto win the super bowl this year because i wanna hit direct rock-bottom. over the last 10 years,i've always kind of been into playoffs, the jets aren'tthere because i wanna root against the patriots. this year i flipped the switch; i am actually officially rooting

for the new england patriotsto win the super bowl because i want them to stickit directly in my mouth. let's get to the show. - [voiceover] kristin asks,"hey, gary, can you sum up "2014 in 5 words?" - kristin, great question. i can. the #askgaryvee show. - [voiceover] chris asks,"gary, would you support

"vayner employees writing their own books "and curating their own content streams "and personal brands?" - chris, this is a great question. as a matter of fact, first of all. india, first let's talkabout chris bribing you, and, like, attacking you. let's go over here to india. india, tell the vaynernation, oh, the vaynernation,

the story of, actually,while you tell everybody chris' attack and bribing, i actually am gonna bring a prop for this. - [drock] you canmute your microphone. - that's fine, i'll be right back. trouty! all right, i'll give you themicrophone for india's story. - all right, chris wasextremely persistent over the holidays.

a time where not a lot of our people were tweeting questions. and he got his friends totweet after his question, and tag me. and then he said that hemight start bribing me. so, it definitely worked; here'syour question on the show. - it didn't work becauseyou didn't execute the actual bribe gift. right, you went noble.

but now, chris, i want you to know, and we've known each other a long, long long, long, long time. and it's good to have you on the show. that you will need to send india a gift; it will need to be substantial. (people giggling) and we tell the vaynernation what you got her in an upcoming episode.

and, so, this is really yourchance to either be a good guy, or a terrible guy. trouty, can you do me a favor? can you find me jason donnelly? - [trouty] yeah.- he was going through-- - he's floatin' around.- [gary] he's floating around. he was going through orientation. cool, we will, we'relooking for jason donnelly. and we will answer chris' question

with jason donnelly as ahuman-prop to your question. let's go to the next question. i'll interrupt that questionwhen jason donnelly shows up. that's how we're doin' it, drock. don't fight me, drock! let's move on. all right, here we are tofinish off this answer. this is, actually, tremendous timing because the question came at the same

exact time that jasonrejoined vaynermedia. jason, you made thevital, devastating mistake to leave vaynermedia,and go somewhere else; but then you rejoined vayner today. why don't you tell vaynernation first, just 'cause i wanna hear itand feel good about myself, about why you did that. but just one sentence 'cause i wanna actually answer the question.

- this is home; that's it. (chuckling) - all right, i figured youcould answer this question better than i did, so, whydon't you tell the vaynernation how i did support somebody whowas writing their own book? - not only did he supportme by just lovin' the book, he bought copies and gave it to people throughout the office. he's been nothin' but helpful,and the best boss ever.

- so, yes, the answerto the, thanks go work! you gotta make up lost time. the bottom-line is, ofcourse, i think that you can't get away with saying you're gonna take care of people, and you wanna build around them. too many people wanna act like they're gonna take care of everybody but then suppress people whothey think can trump them.

see, there's somethingamazing that happens when you think you'regreatest of all time. you don't think thatanybody is necessarily gonna be able to surpass you. thus, you don't need tosuppress, and i mean that. i mean, it may sound likea douchebag-thing to say, but, like, i believe so much in myself that there is no value in metryin' to hold down people that i think are more talented than me.

and that happens every day of the year in organizations all the time. and, so, for me, show them, show them. for me, if they're better than me, or if they need to fly the nest; well, then that's what needs to happen. if that means writing their own book and building their brand,i'm more than happy to do that and support it.

i just believe in fair, and in capitalism. and, so, not only do ibelieve in supporting it i do support it actively when it happens. - [voiceover] clayton wantsto know, "how do you push "your team beyond their best?" - clayton, great question. way to start off 2015, good questions. oh, actually, i picked this one, right? (people laughing)

hit 'em with some barry harowitz'. but that was so subconscious, too. it was a great question.i thought we should do it. i really, really, reallythink that the best way to push somebody above their own means is to guilt them into it. and i know that's a weird kind of answer. but it is my honest beliefthat the thing that drive, first of all, everybody isdriven by different things.

so, the real answer to your question is to use your hear, right? drock, zoom in to my ear. right, you know, the earis the key in this scenario because the truth is,the way to push somebody above their limit is toactually have individual conversations with them about what is their holy grail. what do they wanna accomplish?

like india and i, i have agood feel of some of india's long-term career ambitions. that gives me, first of all, her knowing that we've even had thatconversation, in and of itself, gives her a little bit moreconfidence to work harder. because she's tryin' to getwhat she wants out of it, professionally, andknowing that i'm the person that can most likely make that happen, at least in the context of this world,

that just even having the conversation puts her in better spot. but some people are literallyrawly driven by straight cash. like, truly, you wanna push somebody? you carrot, like, "hey,i know you love cash! "i'll give you 10,000 more if you, like," you know, and so, you've gotta find out what makes people tick. i'm so not motivated by cash,

that so many people tryto get me to do things, jv with me, invest in things, do things, speak at things. and they think cash is the way to do it. and, listen, i love the cash, but it's not my biggest driver. and i make a lot ofdecisions based on legacy, long-term impact, on myself by the way. not like long-term global impact.

you know, that's not how i think. i mean, i think there'sa byproduct of that but that's not thenumber one thing for me. but, to answer thequestion in a general-form, i truly do believe the bestway to get that is to guilt. and what i mean by guilt,it's a variation of listening. which is not only listening,but delivering in a world where so few people even begin to listen, let alone delivering on that listening.

and once you start doingthat, people start realizing, let me tell you what'shappening at vayner; it's not super confusing. i know exactly what'sgoin' on in this company. it's starting to get old enough that there's enough thingshappening for enough people that it's really easy topoint to phil toronto, or to somebody else andbe like, "wait a minute." or steve unwin, like, youcan start pointing to,

"oh, crap, that person wanted that, "that person's getting that, "that person's happy as crap!" i want that, and so, it's listening and then delivering, whichthen creates a scenario where people want to over-deliver because, the only way somebodywill over-deliver for you, 'cause you asked a very selfish question. "how can i get my teamto over-deliver for me?"

"for my thing." it's very simple. the best way to get themto over-deliver, john? - [trouty] i'm jack,if that's a substitute. - no, jack is not a substitute. i know what you're thinking. no, that is not a substitute. - okay, we're on the hunt. - the only way to getsomebody to over-deliver

is to attack their ownselfishness, their's. you're selfish 'cause you want more out of your team to help you. well, the best way to get that to happen is to over-deliveragainst their selfishness. i do believe that guilt is a huge driver because, and there's something that i, i believe in human beings. i mean, some people don'thave self-awareness,

or empathy, or these emotional feelings. so many people, like, it's amazing to me now living 20 years professionally, like, how many people are notconfused eventually. they may be emotional atthe time you fire them, or not reward them, butboy, every time i run into somebody four, seven,nine years down the line; i've had a very goodtrack-record of them saying, "yeah, i know why you did that."

i mean, like crazy stuff like, "i had a drug problem!" there was, like, you know, stuff! life, right? so, i would answer your question like i have before on this show. and you haven't heard mesay it, i'll say it again. the single best way to win is to give 51% of the relationship.

if there was a jury of 500 people, that they would allagree that you've given 51% to the relationship. and you have to be good enough to know what to do with the other 49. so, i would attack their own selfishness. i would make it so good for them, that you've guilted them in delivering. and be very prepared in your stomach

by making it awesome. and then them under-delivering, still being entitled tothink they did deliver. and then you being disappointed. "you listened to the gary vee show, "and he told you, and he so great." yeah, at least you thinkso thank you very much. "and you did it." and then all four ofthese people who you gave

$10,000 raises to yesterday, a month later are doingthe same crap they did, and it didn't motivate them at all. or you gave them four weeksoff instead of one week off, and they're still just as crappy. or you, like, got them ababysitter, and you pay for it, and they still aren't. gratitude and all thesewonderful human characteristics are not guaranteed.

but the best way for you to have it happen is to consistently keep tryingto do it for that person. and then, look, i just had a meeting with all these characters, right? but the rest of the team, and i was like, "look, you may not win on this team." like, 2015, i wanna takeit up another notch. and the consolationprize is you get to work for one of the bestcompanies in the world.

but, like, you just might notbe able to be on this team. you've gotta be upfront,you've gotta be fair. you gotta know when you'resetting up people for victory; and when not, you gotta do that. and then you get tojudge, not before hand. way too many of you aremaking a mistake yourself. you didn't train, you didn'tput the person in a position to succeed, you're notcommunicating properly on what you expect.

you're not shooting it straight, you're scared to hurt feelings. you're too much of a dick. it could be a million different reasons why it's not happening, butit is always going to be the greatest form meritocracythat you can create. and that starts with your ear and it finishes, in myopinion, on a second-step move of you actually delivering on that.

call people's bluffs. i live life on calling people's bluffs. "oh, you'll really crush itif you have another person?" "here." now, you have to be good enough, back to that 49%, to affordto give somebody that person. you may not have that situation. but you might have to make a decision. one of the quickestways i grew wine library was by making 30,000 dollars ayear for five years in a row.

because it took all those monies. and i called people's bluffs. and when they let me down, doyou think it hurt my feelings that i wasn't making 45 instead of 30? it sure did, but did i havemy eye on the big prize? sure did! now i get paid double thatsalary to speak for one hour because i bet long-term,because i was 23 years old! right, you gotta know where you're at.

if you're 83 and you're watching the show, first of all, big ups, ol' dog. and second of all, second of all, you know, maybe you don'tneed to play the long-game and invest as much. maybe it's time to cash out. i have these weird feelings that in my 80s i'm gonna be rogue as crap, and just take! because i just gave for so long.

i don't know, you've heardme say that's my concern. but i can tell you this. (sighing) most of the reasons, let me phrase. if they work for you, all of the reasons that they're not over-deliveringagainst their best, all of those reasons are your fault. - [voiceover] harold asks,"will you force your children "to partake in the business like your dad?

"will you be disappointedif they don't want to?" - my dad never forced me. you know, you hear a story of my dad, i've said it, "my dad forcedme into the business!" he forced me into the businessas a 14 year old child. child labor, dad. aj never worked at wine library. i think one summer, ifyou're listening or watching, aj, i know you worked there one summer.

but, you know, he neverworked in the business. i think that, you know, for my parents, look i was a crap-student, and i was a great salesman as a kid. there was such a naturalsegue to the impact that my mom fully believed in, and she was closest to the situation. i have no, i'm weird with this issue, man.

first of all, i'm a dark dude. can we go black-and-white on this? can we go black-and-white,and darker on the black? really?- [drock] yeah. - cool. i'm a dark dude. you know how they tell you not to compete with your children? that's, like, a top-five flaw in society.

that will not be somethingi'm successful in. kids, misha, xander, i'm sorry. i'm overdue. xander is two-and-a-half years old, he has a basketball setup in the living room; and i've blocked everyone of his shots, so far. to the point where he picks up a ball, if i'm in the room, he starts crying, he goes, "no block!"

"no!" like this is what xander does. even if i'm, like, 10 minutes away because he knows what's coming, which is he's not scoringuntil he can score. i am fine. i love my kids unconditional. if they're schlemiels andcan't sell water in desert well, then that's justthe way it ended up being. right, like, lizzie and ihad sex at the wrong moment if that's somethin' i cared about.

that's what it is. so, i just want them tofocus on their strengths. i wanna put them in a position to succeed. i think financially and connections-wise, there's a very good chancethat that's gonna happen. you know, you do the best you can. very much the way i'm gonna parent has a lot to do with theway that i run companies. and i think that the peoplewho have worked for me

and close to me, probablyfeel really happy and feel good about mykids' opportunities. because i care and ihave no disappointment if they don't wanna work for, at the point, the new york jets. and, so, that's it. no, i have no hesitation. i mean, if my kids gocompletely the other way, and are not commerce driven,

and are anti-business, and wanna live in who-knows-where feeding who-knows-what, doing whatever. if they wanna save theone-legged butterfly in some god-knows-place inthe corner of the world i'm gonna hope that they're the best at saving the one-legged butterfly. i'm gonna try to help themsave the one-legged butterfly. should would registerone-legged butterfly dot com?

we should. i just will support them unconditionally as long as they're good human beings. and treat people with respect, and treat people with the 51, 49% thing, and be the bigger man, woman. i don't care what they do as long as they do it in away that 5,000 arbitrators would say, "that's a good person!"

- hey, bridget willard here with you too can be a guru. you asked for more questions, here's one. you're going on vacation. so, you'll be gone for, let'ssay just for this scenario, more than three days. and the question is, doyou schedule your tweets and respond when youget back from vacation? do you schedule your tweets

and then respond as you're on vacation? or do you just not tweet at all? remember, ♫ you too can be a guru ♫ thanks, gary. - you're welcome, bridget. i think it's number four. you tweet, and you respond. 'cause that's what i did.

i was just on vacation for two weeks. first of all, you never schedule. i'ma say it again. never in your life schedule a tweet. here's why. you're on vacation for three days, you schedule a tweet of like, "hey, what's your favorite book?" and at that exact moment,

we have the next national-tragedyhappen at that second. i had multiple friends schedule tweets during the boston massacre. so, here's the boston massacre; it's a terrorist event on us soil. the whole world shuts down, right? and my friends are tweeting like, "you should buy my new book." it was disgusting at best.

and it was just devastating. and that's the extreme. what about, like, a lightweight version? like, you schedule a tweet, and right at the moment, on twitter, the cowboys score an important touchdown and the governor of newjersey is bouncing around and hugging jerry jones and that's all that anybodywants to talk about.

and you're a cowboysfan, or from new jersey, and you're tweeting about like, "what's your favorite book?" and it makes you seem out of touch. there is no value in scheduling a tweet. i've never done it, i don't believe in it. i will never believe in it, period. now, you're more than welcome, like i have on half my vacations,to check out completely;

and i highly recommend that. i was so excited about doing that. i told you that's what i would do. but unfortunately, or fortunately, i caught the wine library-bug, and i enjoyed myself talking about wine constantly on my vacation when xander and misha were in the kids' club and doing their thing there.

or, you know, while lizzie wasgetting ready for the dinner. or, finding my pockets going my way. so, i think that it's a personal thing. but, boy, do i hate, ♫ do i hate scheduling a tweet ♫ like, don't do it. please, don't do it. question of the day. two parts; answer them both.

number one: can i have your wine business? yes, no? number two: what are youlooking forward to in 2015? you keep asking questions,i'll keep answering them. oh, crap, wait subscribe! (staccato utterances) i need subscriptions because i can't push this many regular andsocial, so, subscribe!

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