wohnzimmer 2016

good evening. what is your name? my name is viktor what are you wearing? are you wearing something? i'm wearing a leotard it's actually clothes so don't be tricked especially the last rows where are you from victor? i was born in ukraine and now i'm proud american for 20 years. oh wow congratulations and what do you do? i'm a juggler. a juggler? how did you get into this? when i was 5 years old, my brother snuck me from the kindergarten and bring me to the juggling show that was in my little town and since then i was fascinated with juggling and decide to juggle. viktor, how old are you? simon, i'm 45. you look great. thank you. all right. go ahead show us what you do who are you? my name is ryan beard. ryan beard, and how old are you ryan? i am 18 years old. nice to meet you ryan.

it's nice to meet you too simon. and where are you from? i'm from kansas city. okay, so tell me about you i love singing and i think that this is the place for me and you live with your mum and dad? i do live with my mom and dad yes. okay. and where did you go to school? i went to school inside of my living room. oh so you're home schooled. yeah. good job mom. did you like that? oh, how could i not love having my parents there 24/7? what is the prom like? what's the prom like? you know you dim the lights, my younger brother comes in and slow-dance the night away

i like that. so it wasn't your choice, ryan, to be homeschooled? it was not my choice. no. they sort of made you? oh yeah what about girls, did it help you with girls? did being homeschooled help me with girls? not exactly, no, not exactly. so do you have a girlfriend now? no, i do not have a girlfriend and also i've never had one, so... what's the song you're going to sing? i'll be doing a song called ladies man. you wrote it?

yeah. alrighty see some ladies are already excited about it i told you the ladies were gonna love him. i'm the type of guy that the ladies just can't refuse. i'm the guy who understands everything about social cues hi i like your face bet you're wondering how i got this a social butterfly the ladies never leave alone. well the answer is pretty clear it's 'cuz i was schooled at home

who needs friends or relationships? i can get those things from my cat, cinnamon i could stay in bed until 3pm and be completely naked for my final exams the only time i thought something might be wrong is when my date to the prom was my mom don't go to prom with your mom evening! good evening! welcome to america's got talent! thank you thank you. oh, you're welcome. and who are you? i'm david. and i'm leeman and other nights we switch. i'm probably should i

go perfect [did] you see that did you see what i saw? see your magicians. we are magicians. yes, ha thank you how i forget okay, wow now is that what you guys do for a living? i'm a high school philosophy teacher from the dead and you what do you do? they're probably gonna cheer even louder i'm a barista so you're gonna do magic for us we're not going to show you a trick? we're gonna show you a demonstration of pseudoscience [and] for this we need a volunteer actually howie howie could you join us on stage these are encouragement really? yes?

volunteer i have a seat [i] know you've heard of phrenology [foreknowledge] virology filling the bumps of the school to figure out personality traits we're not gonna do [that] dave and [i] came up with pressure for an [awl] that's right that's by squeezing parts of the skull we can actually get you to lose the ability to do certain things no, it's completely soaked completely stay really safe. we're pseudoscientist. we are pseudoscientist tonight. you have to touch but that's okay. i came prepared, [okay] do you mind if i pressure for an all your head yeah? if i squeeze here you lose the ability to play the piano. can you play the piano? no they don't tell him it amazing?

if i squeeze here you lose the ability to a standing back flip can you do a standing [backflip], [not] a miracle? and if i squeeze here you can no longer read, that's right we brought these cards with words written on and these words all pertain to you, howie okay? i will once again pressure for an all you [you're] what i'm gonna press. i'm gonna squeeze your head taking away his ability to read and now no longer read. [hey] judges. yes, or no can you read this work? yeah? yes, howie yes or no can you read this? yes, okay. go ahead and sound it out what's not it? what can i can i? ah that's okay, [but] judges you can read this right?

weird right now to make sure where i'll do anything trick. we have a game. we get a word. yeah. hey it's a tell me it was your show touches yellow can you read this? yes, it's word. you know yeah, the word you know okay. how are yes or no, can you read this? born boobs [it] what is it? [coral] comes [keep] [on] [low] or [executive] [even] they can read [it] [this] [event], but you're a pool can be thick why is that a word you know? one more yes, yes how i just what just last one was this one

blow ah blow what it says? he is no longer pressure [phonology]. so you should be able to read judges. yes, or no key right this week what is that saying comedian perfect yes or no judges? can you read this yes? yes? germaphobe perfect, okay, and yes, or no judges can you read this yes, and my name [hallie] [hyman] don't please get out and out a huge round of applause oh yeah that's the way to enter a stage

what's your name? i go by told the chief rocca and this is my brother called [ecole] my height man. how y'all doing, all right? what is it you do what i do is i shut the house down yeah, like this guy [cone] the chief [raka]. what is the dream here my man my dream is to be a one-hit [wonder] have met guys in my radio career. have one hit and they can live off [that] hit for the rest of their life, right? right right now. [do] you have an original song [that] could be a one-hit wonder? yes, you do look at you. yeah, we do long is [b double ot.y you are [booty] i know

i feel that booty, but man, what a [g] you know yeah, you're igniting this crowd. you know you remind me of the gangnam style guy for [barry] i'm trying to be right. i want to see a one-hit wonder. we're gonna hear about booby buddy. what tell the boys are not ready? wow hope you are there, but this show is why [that'd] be the bilotti walking line there b double o t y go yo good guy. oh, wow look at that [b] double o t y y gonna say a rubbish car buyer for the same of the kolobok who's back all [y'all] [running] like a condo wall i can say my

feasible opy but their show is fine. there be double ot one get that off my back. [let] [me] double ot. [why] [dad] of my one god and eternal owe me double oh, that'd be the below me never let me [we] [summon] [up] [feasible] oh peter [how] you doing nice outfit? thank you. it's just something. i threw together this morning. hey what is your name christopher? hi christopher? where are you from las vegas from las vegas? and how old are you christopher? i'm 54 no way i'm not even gonna ask what you're gonna. do let's just watch. thank you what's happening be patient?

hi, welcome to america's [got] talent. what's your name? my name's [pifs] the magic dragon you might have heard him out with a brother steve yeah what are you gonna? do for us today pif? i'm a [magic] [a] dragon mel. it's just a magic hmm little, bit magic and why america's got talent it was either this or game of thrones and [i'll] be honest. no. i don't wanna die yet go on pif ready can i heidi heidi heidi heidi? i want my wife's actually called heidi. yeah, yeah, and how's that going? that's pretty good, but we're [gonna] just met i'm only kidding you've got chance all right. let's give her a round of applause choice on stage. don't get up here heidi

[come] on. come on. how do you have [to] conversation? they're real what's gonna happen you're gonna meet a real life there's only one of me. [i'm] the last of the species come on away. oh yeah, come on heidi germany playing cards do you do you have any playing cards? [oh]? yeah? you do on you know i? let me try and find [he] will select no don't hurry heidi. all right each everything else [no] over here. i got a prediction. it's a prediction. it's not pronounced for later ready

you're gonna touch it back at any one of these cards any one of these cars are going to touch the back of you touching there we go that we understand lovely honey. let's see you. did this one. you like this one very good all right java pen it just got real is this for you. that's it. i'm [cap] i'm captain lovely and you can write your name nice needing a little white space on the top just in the white space [where] everyone [see] it. it's it highly perfect addley and blow it dry. oh a little hard on this very nice of you, eba perfect all right, highly before this i made a prediction you choose our king of hearts liz gentlemen my prediction the 7 of spades so basically heidi was wrong but don't worry heidi. i could really do magic and we look a bit like this i'll be around. where are you?

lonely hard, i know waiting for your call if you ever change your mind i'll be gentle sweden [less] [ridiculous] [place] how do you say your name stroke ah [yes]? this is for you? [i] did think yeah. yeah, it's just $12 it's genuinely $12 there's a reticles, honey returns back to a joke get out of here so look up [you] [brothers]. oh i'm ready. i'm ready for you [guys]. [what] is the name of your group? i'm little mike. i'm funny bone and together we are my bone by bone

you guys are brothers. yes, sir. what are your real [names], they call me jesus, jesus it's what happens when indians name children right [your] native american. yeah, your jesus both of us. what do you mean? this is your real name, jesus. yeah i was born on your real name is jesus - you know the sad thing [is] there's one between us, and his name is jesus um how tall [are] you guys just so be 52 inches hard to get girls with that size or no problem? just give me a chair. i'll be all right way to go way to go just give us a brief rundown of what we're about to see uh [we] [rant] then we dance you do this professionally

[yeah], i'll do it you make money. how much money did you make last year doing this whoo? that doesn't look very good [$300]. she stayed booked. that's a lot of wampum isn't it yes absolutely all right? that's the blood my well hey - i do the right day right there shot a little rain [jog] to the range? [affirmative] the native boy [coming] fresh in the box never faded boy a boy

to stay boy, you can come to the [table] any game get down, it'll matter oh good evening welcome to america's got talent's well afraid no, i all know it's gonna happen yeah and you are you are you what [you] have a name? taped your taped um what are you going to be doing?

you don't know so what is this maybe will will we talk after? maybe oh yeah. i love a mystery. go ahead and do what it is you do? you there's only in my life the only thing that's cry you're everything you rooster farm? and power i want [a] shit oh my

it's weird me, too never say it never seen your shine little sensor you can berlin given how oh [address] you were lots in your head [aha], lady hi, there. look at you. [whoa]. what's your name? my name is kenichi ebina. what is your act um? my athletes dance [ish] performance dance ashish. yes, okay?

how did [you] get into dance ish kind of um? i knew only the one step called the running man thanks and when i did it people got loud and so yeah, and there's a i was like oh i feel good. all right. good luck have fun. thank you. thank you but your bird hi guys so who are you lincoln bridge? okay? [can] you tell me your names please?

i'm echo mantri davis, okay, i'm shawn [china] [lacey] big room i can see that? had hallam's [pinned] together huh for a little bit of time we've been hearing their you know breaking off when we was kids we kind of met yeah, so why have you entered the show america's got talent i? don't know [manda's] do right here, and he's just a big dream and because of his huge dreams. we got together man good luck. thank you

the rainbow we are i heard of was yellow to somewhere oh, sky blue - someday i wish upon a star. how the fuck you where troubles melt like lemon drops away above the chimney top. that's where find me some the rainbow boom oh for the

why then no why? ah

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