ecksofa kleines wohnzimmer

so, we've just arrived here in las vegas. and there's one place we had to go immediately—we couldn't wait! beautiful, lovely, ikea: home furnishings truly god's land, is it not? ( ♫ music ♫ ) this is my brother, sean, by the way. - hello. hang on, dude, are these free? [sean] you bring them back when you check out.

- wait, are these free bags? [sean] just take them. - are you serious right now? these are all just free bags? here, take this one. hold this. [hila] sean, you don't have to listen to ethan. [ethan] wait. are you serious? they're just giving away pencils here? [ethan] are you serious right now?

this is, like, the best shopping decision we've made. here, sean, take this. hold this. [ethan] this sofa couch is $130. it doesn't even make sense. like, you build that shit in china. you ship it on a boat. somebody assembles it and puts it in here. that doesn't even make sense, dude! there's something weird going on! like, somebody's dying. some little children's hands are bleeding with that $130. i guarantee it, dude. that being said,

an excellent buy that would be an excellent addition to anybody's living room. can i buy this? what's this product's name? (writing) true... true love. i believe the price of that is $9.99. dude! $7 salmon fillet? do they also get- is this from, like, the fillet of chinese children who are worked to death building $100 sofas? it's a smoothie blã¥bã¤r and hallon. [hila] do you know it? you never heard of a smoothie blã¥bã¤r and hallon?

what are you talking about, hila? [ethan] that... is fucking... ( gags ) [ethan] i'll take the swedish meatballs, please. they give you the mobility and the food of a convalescent home. so, i'm on my way to go die here, fifty years early. frankly, i'm looking forward to it. it's going to be a lot of fun. at long last, tastes like sausage.

tastes like a round, fucking sausage. they're selling these like it's fucking meatballs. it's sausage. why would anyone eat this crap? disgusting. retirement food. why would anybody wait in line- -to eat this crap? fucking disgusting. not worth the money. euh! this food is horrible. don't go to ikea for the meatballs.

[sean] it's not very good. [sean] but it's like—it's kind of what you expected. [ethan] describe the flavors as they happen. - a shitty sausage. [ethan] (laughs) a shitty sausage! [sean] yeah, it's like a really soft, shitty sausage. [hila] it's like a shitty... it's like a shitty sausage in the diner that, like, you hate. [ethan] wow, hila's coming in fucking strong words against ikea!

[ethan] but, clearly, you know what kind of meat it is? [ethan] fucking over-worked chinese children, dude! it's the fillet of chinese children! - when they complain and they ask for a raise, this is where they go. are they just giving away baby bibs here at ikea? are you serious right now, dude? they're just giving these away? here, sean, hold this. hold this. are you serious right now? - now i'm ready.

i'm ready to eat some fine ikea food. [hila] it's pretty fashionable. [ethan] (laughs) it's very fashionable! that's, what do you say, that's couture? [hila] that's pretty high fashion, i'll say, [ethan] i mean, yeah, definitely bring these, dude. this is very useful for you. i get the feeling, walking through ikea, that civilization is about to end. you know what i mean? [hila] mhmm.

it's like—i get the feeling that it's all about to end really soon. i don't know how to describe it, but... when i look at a rack with 100 toilet plungers for 99 cents, it makes me think that it's all gonna end really soon. we just walked around ikea for two hours so my brother could buy this. [sean] i need one that's nicer. the nicest fucking toothbrush holder that ikea has to offer, i will treat you today! you follow your dreams and find the nicest one!the nicest one!

[hila] what about this? [sean] aw, that's like a little trash can. it's cute! [ethan] it's cute? cost? [sean] well, there's two. [ethan] three bucks. [sean] is that what it is? [hila] yeah. [sean] why are there two? [hila] you get two.. (laughs)

[ethan] you get a back-up, dude. [ethan] here, like, look. we got this shit falling out of our ears. let's give 'em two. we have 10,000 of these. oh, you found it! oh, this is the best one! this one has metal, guys! [hila] well, it comes in a box. [ethan] $9.99! [hila] that is classier.

[sean] that is classier. [ethan] so is this the toothbrush holder of your dreams? [sean] mine. you're buying it? [ethan] i'm buying it for you. thank you, dude. [sean] thank you, h3h3. [ethan] i love you, brother.we're gonna hook you up today. sean, i just wanna saycongratulations to sean. he got the toothbrush holder of his dreams, the best one that they offer at ikea, $9.99. that's going to be our treat here at h3h3productions to my beloved brother, sean.

thanks, dude. appreciate you. [ethan] and now hila wanted to say something about the toothbrush holder. here, sean. this is from the both of us. [sean] thanks, hila. [hila] thank you. [ethan] sean, how do you feel about your new toothbrush holder from ikea? - i am so excited. i'm gonna go home, i'm gonna take my toothbrush,

and put it right inside. this is, like, some communistic shit here, dude. then, when you think you're done, you have to come to the fucking warehouse, and give them your ticket, and pull your own shit, and then go home and build it! it's like, yeah, it's cheap, but you end up spending, like, 20 hours to buy and assemble your fucking $100 piece of furniture is your time not worth more than that!? we don't have much time left on this earth, guys! you need to cherish every hour! you can't be spending it building fucking ikea sofas, dude! cherish your moments here on earth, you guys!

it is not worth shopping at ikea! cherish your time on earth, guys! do not shop at ikea! it's not worth it! we were not put on this earth to build ikea furniture, guys! we're more valuable! we're human beings! we have emotions and feelings! time is precious to us! the gods are jealous of man because they know that we will run when they die! we don't need to spend our only hours here in ikea, shopping, putting out furniture and fucking building it! i know it's only $100, but it's not worth the fucking effort, guys! don't come here! the meatballs aren't even that fucking good, dude! okay, ethan, the chair that i wanted...

it's up there. [ethan] okay. - so, you wanna, like, push me up or something? [ethan] yeah, yeah, i got you. [ethan] (laughs) you're doing good, hila! [ethan] you're doing good. [ethan] get it! grab it, dude! it's only $7.99! it's the only one left! [hila] i can't get it! [ethan] we have to get the chair, hila, it's the only one left!

[hila] (laughs) i can't do it. [hila] okay. [ethan] (coughs) [hila] i can't do it! - we literally just spent eight hours walking around ikea and now we have to go somewhere else because it's out of reach and now i have to spend an extra $50 to save 20 hours of my fucking time! ( ♫ outro ♫ )

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